Quantcast
Channel: Celtic – Olivia Stocum Romance Fiction
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 28

How to Write the Perfect Book Review (without getting electrocuted)

0
0

Book reviews, as many of you already know, are really important to authors. I've had many people tell me that they'd like to leave a review but they:

Don't have the time.

Can't think of what to write.

Have selective amnesia and can no longer find my books on Amazon or Goodreads.

Started to read one of my books and then burst into spontaneous combustion and I'm now being sued for damages rendered to their person.

Struck by lighting while reading my book outside in a thunderstorm, standing in a puddle holding a sword in one hand while attempting to reenact a sword fight from one of my books. (Please do not do this. I'm tired of being sued for the unpredictable actions of my readers.)

In order to clear up this misconception many people have about how hard it is to write a review, I've decided to write one for you. Feel free to copy and paste this into a review for any of my books:

Miss Stocum is the best writer EVER! I've never in my whole life read anything like her book. She should win the Noble Peace Prize for her work. I'll never be the same again. My life has been radically altered. My eyes are open and I know that I've seen true genius at work. Read this book!!!! Really. Read it all night long and in one sitting and don't get any sleep and walk around like a zombie for the rest of the day and watch you don't accidentally step out in traffic or in front of a train and don't walk off a bridge, or stick your finger in an electrical outlet, or spontaneously combust, or wave your sword around in a thunderstorm. (Trust me, that last one is from personal experience.)

See? Wasn't that easy? Now just use this review everywhere. Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

And please, for God’s sake, don't get electrocuted. I can't afford your medical bills. At least not without a lot of reviews so I can sell enough books to pay for your reconstructive surgery.

Thank you for your consideration.

My Books.

www.oliviastocum.com


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 28

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images